However, that was not the case with my sister this morning when I was told that derogatory comments were displayed about her on her Formspring account. Comments that discriminated her weight, her appearance and viewed that her boyfriend has made a poor choice with dating her. The saddest part is that her perpetrator forgot to lock her identity and it turns out she is one of Julia's closest friends. After some confrontation, claims that it was all part of a scheme, a practical joke so that Julia would simply have "mean" things written about her on her account emerged.
Admitting that she forgot to set her comments as anonymous would have been less humiliating.
Anyhow, it is this very incident that has brought about thoughts on the term "frenemy" - "an enemy disguised as a friend or to a partner who is simultaneously a competitor and rival" according to Wikipedia.
Frequently used in women's magazines, re-enacted in stereotypical chick flicks (Bring It On, Mean Girls) and witnessed in highschool melodrama it seems to me that frenemies occur more frequently within the female gender. Author Lucinda Rosenfield wrote a column in The New York Post titled "Why Women Are Frenemies" in promotion to her book about female love/hate friendships, "I'm So Happy For You: A Novel About Best Friends" and it explained that "the root of female frenemy is jealousy". For frenemies to be so abundant in women, it must mean that jealousy is a natural trait of the gender.
That's a scary thought, considering that Envy is the second of the 7 deadly sins, for which the famous Italian poet, Dante Alighieri defines as "love of one's own good perverted to a desire to deprive other men of theirs." Another, "Envy is jealousy with a malicious desire to harm or punish the person you're jealous of. It is also known by the name of Schadenfreude or Sorrow-Joy: Joy at another's suffering" (unkown).
So this is my question: "Frenemy" stems from the habitual emotion of jealousy, particularly common within female relationships but it is also a wicked deed that is even forbidden by the Catholic Church. Is this something that we can overcome? Or are we inevitably succumbed to its curse?
In asking this, I wonder if Julia's frenemy should be forgiven, for jealousy is only a human instinct. Or did she choose to belittle my sister, a pre-meditated action that fucked up because she forgot to click Anonymous?
3 comments:
This friend totally knew Julia's weaknesses and wanted to hurt and humiliate her. Julia needs to bar this friend a-sap and not let herself be surrounded by fools who forget to click 'anonymous'
I have to agree with jennifer_11; I know teenagers are nasty to each other as a trait, but I would do some 'weeding out' of friends if I were your sister. She doesn't need that sort of person around her.
I like you're writing, I'll stick around :-)
~Juniper~
i hate feeling jealous and try to figure out why i feel jealous, but i do think it is a natural feeling. Acting on it is another thing though . In your sisters case i would reevaluate my friendship with this person too and i'm sure the damage is done.
Post a Comment